Tips for Self-Care: How One Teacher Doesn’t Have it All.

Self-care Sunday tips don’t work for me. I’m a teacher. I work Saturdays and Sundays to make sure that my week goes well, with no stress, self-pity, and self-imposed exhaustion.

I searched dozens of self-care activities, practices, and lists. Too many of them either did not match my lifestyle or did not consider that I also have kids. Despite my skepticism for many of the self-care procedures, rituals, and self-care deficit, I do believe in the transformational power of self-care habits.

In this post, I’m sharing self-care examples to convey the idea that instead of following self-care lists, we should try to build self-care habits however unconventional, inconvenient, and impossible they might seem. Let’s redefine self-care for teachers, for everyone, in fact. Let’s make self-care not only impacting our bodies but also our minds because we all deserve to be healthier, happier, and have an abundant life.

“Self-care for teachers” is an oxymoron. And this is how I have felt for the past 5 years.

It may likely look different for you, but my quest of “how to be an effective and happy teacher” pushes me to work harder, often at the expense of self-care, personal well-being, and happiness. In pursuit of effective teacher qualities and strategies, I read more, study longer, spend hours crafting that perfect lesson, take part in never-ending workshops that promise greener pastures once the experience and effective teaching strategies are behind my belt.

But while the list of everything I need to do grows and grows, the amount of time given to complete the quest and be a happy mom and a good human being remains the same. It became easy to blame myself for inefficiency with time since I see it as something I begin to lose the moment my day begins.

Whenever I google “effective teacher characteristics” or “what is an effective teacher?”, I find tons of information on how to improve procedures and practices, knowledge of the content; how to use classroom management strategies and connect with parents; how to grade productively and dedicate one’s mental power to solving the problems in the classroom that seem to be growing more extensive and more serious.

If this is the path to effective teaching, it does not include time for relaxation and happiness. And that was the end for me.

The world will always demand more of us than time will allow. This time, I’m resetting my definition of an “effective teacher,” believing this to be true: an effective teacher is a happy teacher with the time to rest, rethink, recharge, reconsider, reorganize.

In the world that is changing and throwing at you a new curriculum, new resources, new tools to learn, and a new pandemic to deal with, it’s hard to adhere to this minimalist thinking of a teacher cutting down on tasks.

I wonder why daily planners became my enemies…

Sometimes it feels like the world is really good at telling us what we have to do and how we should manage our time. We are reminded often to prioritize our families, time with friends, moments of mindfulness, ourselves – which is to say we should prioritize everything. So we listen, and we try our best to do the right thing because we want to be good parents, great colleagues, and loving spouses.

But maybe, quite maybe, it’s possible to be an efficient and happy teacher without adding more pressure to our days by trying to make every minute efficient. It’s choosing what fills you up and fuels you forward. It’s finding the ONE THING as G. Keller and J. Papasan preach and giving it all to discovering our zone of genius and honing our magic skills already given to us. It could even be as simple as seeking efficiency by reorganizing the things we already have rather than inviting a new wheel every day.

So, what tips for self-care would I give to teachers? I would most likely urge anyone to adopt self-care routines and strategies that address one’s mental health. That’s quite a solid start.

Spring break, Christmas break, any break is always stressful for me. A week before the long-needed break, I often envision how every day starts early and how all the tasks on the to-do list are completed with rigor and precision. When the first day of break comes, I find myself hating my to-do list because it reminds me of yet another workday.

Can it be different? It can! And it should! It has to be when it’s the very thing that makes it possible to pause and shed the burden of the to-do list, that affords us the opportunity to experience happiness, efficiency, fulfillment and gives us the energy to chase the dream.

Any spring break, like any other weekend, should be the time to recharge and go back to the things that ignite us and spark our creativity. So, what about self-care? Should it be something simple, achievable for anyone, being attached to no guilt or big spending?

Here are some tips for self-care that cater to your body and mind:

1. Tip for Self-Care #1: Go to the Basics.

I like what self-care looks like on Instagram. It has soft colors, pretty bathrooms, scented candles, and beautiful hair-dos. It’s the standard I find impossible to reach.

However, it’s not the reason not to try.

There is that picture I’ve had in my mind for quite some time, the image of a girl who looks happy, wears a pretty floral dress, and is remarkably comfortable being in the moment. No matter how far this ideal version of me is now, it’s always felt achievable if only self-care was taken seriously.

What if the time is now.

Because it will never be that right moment, starting today and now seems like the right thing to do. No agenda in mind. No due date or “I have to” moment. Just taking time for oneself. And that’s the ONE THING that will pay off eventually.

My top three choices:

Being outside.
Hair, skin, body.
Good (better) food choices.

2. Tip for Self-Care #2: Feed Your Brain.

There was never a moment in my life when a good book failed to open up new perspectives and a fresh way of seeing things. Most books I have read for the past couple of months were gobbled in a few sittings.

I dove into ideas and messages the authors narrated with enthusiasm and hope that my life and my thinking will be changed by the ideas from the pages. Inspiring, refreshing, capable of relaying the mind to see some new directions and point to the simple solution to the complex problems, books can alter one’s life stunningly and unpredictably.

I urge you to find some great time with a good book. These are my top three at this moment:

3. Tip for Self-Care #3: Focus on THE ONE THING.

Yes, you guessed it right. “The One Thing” by Gary W. Keller and Jay Papasan struck me as something I’ve been missing all my life. It declutters your brain, trashes the extras, preps you for the unprecedented focus on something that can propel you to a better life, more fulfilling life, less stressful life.

If you heard about the book before but somehow missed to grab it thinking that it’s too trendy, I urge you to rethink it.

Get it in your hands. Gobble it up. Take it seriously. Grab some paper and pen to jot down those precious insights to act on them the following day.

What does the book have to do with self-care?

I’ve always believed self-care starts with your body but has to include your mind too. For me, longing for peace, comfort, confidence, and happiness rests on financial security and personal achievement.

Like many other teachers (following the recent hype about teacherpreneurship), I have been on the train of teacherpreneurship for two-three years now. It’s been challenging, overwhelming, with some devastating consequences for my well-being and my emotional health.

Even though what I learned is worth some sleepless nights and a messy house, the question of how to make this teacherpreneurial journey sustainable has popped a week or two ago when I found myself crying in the bathroom, for it has become the only refuge of mine from responsibilities, work, projects, kids, and enormous overwhelm. Rethinking the chaos of doing too many things has been a lifeline and settled me into a more sustainable mental state of a ONE THING journey. Most importantly, it helped me get rid of the “I-can-do-it-all” mode and shift my focus on what can change the way I feel and live.

4. Tip for Self-Care #4: Meditate…Don’t Hate Me.

If someone had mentioned meditation to me two years ago, I would have lashed out with anger and irritation. Meditating on deep unhappiness, stress, and exhaustion would seem senseless, almost a joke. But I tried…

Because I had no choice; because I have driven myself to the limit and have stretched myself too thin even to function normally.

Meditation didn’t bring the magic fog with sparkles that were supposed to mystically transform me into a better and happier version of myself. But it did one thing, and that’s why it made me think it was worth it: it allowed me to claim some quiet time to myself, give in to that mystic calming voice of the guided meditation guru, and just be there while lying down on the floor, almost asleep, tired, exhausted, done for the day.

It was an excellent start to relax and finish the day with some music and the feeling that things might not be that bad unless you overthink them.

Self-care would not be complete without taking care of your mind and personal growth. As they say, we feel better when we do better. Being in the right state of mind is dependent on many reasons: financial situation, feeling content and accomplishes, developing and growing personally. Let’s look at some self-care ideas that will help you feed your brain.

5. Tip for Self-Care #5: Implement Vision Board Practice.

Vision board is literally a representation of your goals through pictures. Imagine a canvas paper separated into sections: health, family, professional goals, personal goals, hobbies, and more. Each section has 3-4 photos that show the looked-for outcomes through your goals.

Because visuals are some of the most potent stimuli for our brain, selecting pictures that stand for your desired goals is a way to empower your conscious to take steps to reach what you want. It’s not pure magic. It’s a plan for action.

Check these resources to get to know about:

In my life, the effects of the vision board practice have been compelling. Some of the goals that I’ve reached through visualizing and action are a new, better-paying teaching position, pregnancy, acceptance to Columbia University. Two of them were regarded as impossible until my dreams came true. Therefore, a vision board is definitely a powerful tool for me.

6. Tip for Self-Care #6: Watch Videos and Read Books About Mind Power and Money Mindset.

My obsession with the topic of mind-body connection came amid my lowest self-esteem and extreme exhaustion when I doubted my career choices and struggled as a new mom. I devoured speeches and articles on the topic of building a positive mind. Watching videos and reading books about the effect of thoughts on our body, existence, future helped me find a soothing hope of a personal power I possess.

On the other hand, money mindset topic exploration came as a conscious choice and still remains on my list of habits to nurture.

Here is the list of books and videos that will inspire you to think differently:

Books:

7. Tip for Self-Care #7: Invest in the stock market.

Don’t panic.

I don’t have a degree in finance either. In fact, the only thing I knew when I created my first investment account is that money needed to work.

I became a believer in savings, no matter what and investing. Opening a Charles Schwab account was fast and intuitive. Find instruction here for the steps to do the same.

Don’t be intimidated by descriptions. Just do it. If you need to Google some concepts, go ahead. You are smart!

To deposit money into your Schwab account, you will need a cashier’s check from your local bank addressed to Charles Schwab. Then, head to the local Schwab office to deposit your check with a teller.

In a day or two, you will be ready to buy your first set of stocks. Here is the step by step guide to buying shares.

Start with a simple option of investing in the stocks of well-known companies, like Google, Facebook, Amazon, etc. Remember, the stock market goes up and down, and so do the company share prices.

My personal approach is long-term investing when money can potentially grow over time. If I have questions, I always watch videos of these two guys: Finance Guy and Jason Brown. Their explanation is very comprehensible.

8. Tip for Self-Care #8: Learn the Skills You Consider Impossible.

The value of doing this is in digging out the talent you didn’t expect to possess. It will also help shake off your teacher’s brain by stepping into the unknown territory of “outside-of-the-box” knowledge.

Think about what ignites you when you have time at your disposal. What would you do if you didn’t have to teach or work at any other job?

What you can discover might change your entire life.

Here are some links to great free tutorials/ courses to start with:

9. Tip for Self-Care #9: Nurture Your Female Energy.

Some things bring up the level of female energy, the things that change our physical and emotional being. If you include them in your day, you will escape the cycle of a hamster in a wheel, something that all teacher-moms, moms in general , can relate to. Here are some self-care rituals to raise the level of female energy:

Declutter your house, closet (old, unused things do not allow new energy to come in)
Find the time (even 20-30 min) to take care of your body: nails, hair, shaving, cream, bath (we feel better mentally when our body is the way we want to it to be, look)
Use scents (increase female energy)
Find a hobby that taps into your creativity/crafting (gives you energy, satisfaction of your need of expression)
Stop saving on yourself (I’m not propagating uncontrolled spending or senseless shopping. A few good quality pieces in the closet will bring a different energy. )
Clean space (new fresh creative energy comes in)
Beautiful sleepwear (not for your husband, just for you)
Ask for help (yep, that’s inevitable. Ask your husband, your family member, another woman in your circle to help you )
Education (webinars, courses) (intellectual, spiritual growth)
Financial literacy (gives power, piece of mind, changes the financial mapping of the family)
Communication with other women (exchange of energy, emotional support)

10. Tip for Self-Care #10: Bring Mindfulness Into Your Work.

I once stayed up all night writing posts for my new blog, which is already two years old. I felt I was productive, purposeful, and smart about time-management. No one could interrupt me; I had so much time to myself.

Unfortunately, it never happened again, my all-night saga of “productivity.” It was an exception from my routine of being brain-fogged due to exhaustion at work and family responsibilities. Then, mindfulness was an unknown concept to me. I was a squeezed lemon, and I did nothing.

Mindfulness came later with the desire to survive the “adult” world of serious people who must hustle, must work hard, must give all to kids, must go above and beyond at work to prove you are the right person for this position.

With the time I realized mindfulness at work, home, in business was my ticket out of the crazy world of “you-just-have-to” “there-is-no-other-choice” ideas.

You might not know now like I didn’t before that mindfulness actually is the fertilizer of productivity and success in anything. If you don’t want to take my word for that, just believe for now that mindfulness makes it easy for you to live and function in a professional world.

Warren Buffett once said, “I see people with these self-destructive behavior patterns. They really are entrapped by them.” So right you are, Mr. Buffett! I’m one of them!

The points I’m listing below are the ideas I have in my life to apply mindfulness in work. I have them as checkpoints, reminders that I’m worth the change, that great results are possible:

Capitalize on your strength and become an expert in it.
Consistency does wonders.
Rest is an essential condition of work efficiency.
Working more does not bring more money. Working smart does.
Even in one year, you won’t believe that you were once a beginner.
Don’t take work seriously. Making mistakes is part of doing your job.
Do more things in your work that make you happy.

These points could be interpreted and elaborated on differently by each of you. And that’s the point.

Your understanding of this checklist is of value to you only. The thing you need to remember is that mindfulness also helps you act in a way that would seem absurd from the point of view of conventionally-accepted ideas of work-life.

That might feel uncomfortable and irritating at first. However, when you develop your muscles of mindful living and working, no other options of self-exhaustion and self-destruction from work will ever enter your life.

And for this one thing, I agree to be a black sheep until I join the tribe of those just like me.