Looking For a Job While Employed: To Search or Not To Search?
Is your job what you honestly looked for, feel excited about, can’t wait to get back to? Have you ever asked yourself these questions? If the answers are yes, yes, yes, then you are most likely an entrepreneur. If the answers are no, no, no, then you are most probably like me always pondering the possibility of a new job search while being already employed or just hired. I wouldn’t describe it as impatience, lack of commitment, not knowing your stuff, or lack of focus. When you look for a job the first time, you just need the job, just something straight out of the college because you need to follow the masses and start paying off your student loans and avoid upsetting your parents. Your resume is done like it’s “supposed to be,” you dress like you’re “supposed to look,” you give answers you googled because you just need that job.
Sounds familiar? No shame in here.
We all need the first job. After the first successful shot, however, we start listening to our needs and passions. We consider whether long commute is tolerable based on how big our paycheck is. Then we ponder security and the possibility of a good retirement. After that, convenience becomes a priority. Can I spend more time at home with kids? Passion and interest start ruining everything, and they pound your brain with questions of whether the job is your true passion and whether all this is worth the trouble.
Being a teacher is the same rollercoaster. First, you desire a job, any job. Then you start figuring out what grade level suits you best, and what school district seems to honor your personality and give you a freedom of expression. Then you weigh one option against the other and take that job that seems to provide you with the most happiness and satisfaction. And finally, you start looking again. Why does this happen?
When I first got my teaching job, I considered myself lucky to jump in and start something more serious than waitering or random tutoring gigs. After I started working, I was desperate at becoming comfortable with teaching and become a real teacher: start color-coding materials, craft games and buy a bag “I am a proud teacher”, maybe even post my stuff on TeachersPayTeachers, present at the conference, buy clothes that make me look like a teacher and do all the stuff that people expect from me, an educator.
I realized soon it was not me, it was quite an awkward version of me. I felt I was faking, I was pretending, it was all going to be over. At the same time, I found out that the most important thing of my transformation as a teacher was the understanding that teaching kids is actually fun; the whole relationship building process is so transformational, informative, educational, and life-changing. Yes, one or two of them will think you are an ass$ole; you will declare a war against pencil thieves; your patience will be tested not once; once in a while, you will find yourself crying in the car promising yourself to quit. On the other hand, you will become a trusted friend; you will know the secrets of the child’s mind; you will be the one who “gets it”; you will receive random hugs and smiles and secret admirer’s letters of dedication. It all can be fun, so much fun.
And yet, I keep wondering why my case of staying in a particular school or place is always unsettled. It feels like better opportunities are somewhere else. A perfect classroom is just five years away, and the ideal principle will call me the teacher of the year. But what I falsely dream of or imagine to be my perfect place is never here, never close to me. I long ago ditched the perfectionism junk. I don’t want to become perfect, no longer desire it or search for it.
I have learned to enjoy the process, the ride, the adventure, the real feelings that come only when you hit the learning curve, the new, the unknown. It’s when you doubt yourself and then receive unexpected praise from a scary-looking VP that makes the day. It’s that annoying kid that confesses that you are actually a cool teacher and he/she learned most in your class. It’s those moments of light in the darkness when you think it’s all worth it. Or maybe, in chasing the adventure, having this ever learning spirit, desire to explore, experiment and try that pushes you to search and search even when you are already employed and settled in your career?
Oh, what on earth am I talking about? I’m not even settled. I’m just starting. It’s actually the most unstable and unpredictable phase for any new teacher. Will I eventually fall in love with educating kids, or will I switch to dental hygiene after burning out in two years in the classroom? Will I get rich selling my lesson plans on TeachersPayTeachers, or will I decided that longevity bonuses are actually enough and can make my life happy after 55? Will I become a teacher of the year? Will they like me?
What I have discovered in my two years of teaching is that I grew to like the process itself. New lesson plan format? Bring it on! New grade level? Psss…No problem. New techniques to master? Let’s have a look! The freedom of enjoying the process rather than the result, whatever it may be, liberated me and brought me much more happiness than I could even imagine having in my profession. I feel excited to get to know new people, build a new relationship, discover my new strengths and weaknesses, work on the projects, fail and try again, succeed and learn the lesson. It’s liberating to realize that my purpose is not to become a teacher of the year or even the Principal bestie. My goal is to enjoy the moment I am in, be with kids and explore the world with them, understand the value of the relationship and have time to pursue my passions after my own kid goes to sleep or at 5 in the morning over the weekend.
And yes, I can head to the gym right after the school is over because my lessons plans are done, and the Students Growth Objective is not due until next month. I like the freedom of having little liberties right after the final bell rings, and I leave the school premises. You might understand what I am bragging about if you are a teacher. But you might not get it if you already have the answer to the question, What are your goals? Don’t judge me, but when being interviewed and asked questions, What is your goal as a teacher? And what is your personal goal? – I cringe and feel like saying: Please, don’t ask me the questions to which you expect the same standard answer. For fear of bombing my interview, I do give the answer that would be expected from 100% of applicants. I know my heart doesn’t feel like it, but I don’t risk starting a conversation about what really burns my brain and what keeps me up at 5 in the morning on Saturday. The question I would expect in my ideal world is Tim Ferriss’s, What would excite you? What – Would – Excite – Me? I would be thrilled to teach around the world who I want and where I want. I would be happy about following fewer silly rules and getting into fewer square pegs. I would die of joy if I can do it in between my vacations and from home. I would be thrilled to get a $1, 000, 000 or so for each class that I teach.
Oh well, let me not start. I’d better go back to my cave and work on my Frankenstein idea on my own.
Going back to my question: To search or not to search? I always keep my options open. Teachers are always looking for an ideal school while schools are searching for the right teachers. If you feel like your heart is not there, or you need to save time on the commute, or you just want to try a new place for the unique experience it can bring, always go for it. Don’t hesitate. Embraces changes, adapt and learn from the best in your adventures. We are all nomads, and there are always students who need their teachers. Finally, take it easy, teaching can be a lifestyle, a fascinating lifestyle.
