How to fight impostor syndrome.

In this post, I am going to share four tips about how to fight impostor syndrome. Most commonly impostor syndrome is defined as a psychosomatic (syn.: psychological, stress-related, irrational)  pattern in which people doubt their accomplishments and have persistent, often internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud.”

I hope these tips will help you learn something more about you and the journey you might have ahead of you.

In my second year in a public school system in the US, I  understood one critical thing: all the teachers, whether you are a beginner or a spiced, experienced one,  – all of us can relate in one way or another.

I’ve carried this idea to my everyday life and also discovered that I’m most likely to be connected to people with specific interests that I would never suspect them having.

And the only reason I don’t know how connected I can be with other people is that I fear to seem a complete loser, fraud, mediocre person. I remember someone commenting on teaching English in the US, “How can you have teaching English as a career in a country that speaks this language?..” Yeah, seriously, how dumb can it be?

Meanwhile, language teaching is a growing area for the simple reason: the US has always been a country of immigrants. He-he! How about that?! Ok, I digress here. What I want you to know is that no matter what you are good at, the “other you” in your head will tell you that what you know and can do is quite mediocre; there is nothing special about this; it’s far from being useful or money-making.

Simply saying, if you are not a programmer, a heart surgeon, a nuclear engineer or a rocket scientist, better don’t tell anyone what you do because you are a mediocre grey mouse wasting earth resources. Oh well, I have said it to myself many times. “You teach language?! Pssss… No way! What a joke…”

The thing is, no matter what you do, you often start at the bottom, a very primitive level of your understanding of how valuable and unique you can be. You self-doubt, undermine your skills, feel embarrassed about the loser you are, experience isolation thinking that you bland “unicorn-ness”  is actually a curse.

The thing is impostor syndrome is something experienced by many more people that you would ever think. It affects CEOs and regular wizards, Uber drivers and Nobel prize winners.

And the thing is the best ways to fight this are so easy and doable. So, let’s dive in! Here are some ways to help you overcome impostor syndrome.

1. Connect with people to fight impostor syndrome.

We learn and grow through connections. We acquire, strengthen skills and discover our gifts through how others perceive us. What might seem like mediocre skills for you will be an encyclopedia of knowledge for your colleague!

What looks like a hobby or a way to burn time for you is a master level course for your friend. People are given certain things as gifts on purpose so that we could connect and motivate each other.

The important thing is there are no unuseful gifts. Everything counts! Are you a master in creating super cool anchor charts? Do you have something to share about personal finance, online marketing, investments? Can you dazzle with your knowledge of how to keep a classroom of teenagers under absolute control? Are you a work-from-home mother who is killing it on Instagram? Are you an expert in printing brochures? Are you a hilarious Uber driver? Do you take amazing pictures of food and dogs? What do you have to offer? Some students are looking for your expertise!

Connect and share your gift!

2. Talk shamelessly about who you are. Be honest.

I have always been fascinated by people who can be brutally honest about themselves. There is this deep sense of connection here.  A seemingly perfect individual with a seemingly ideal life is a human like me? It is such an exhilarating feeling to discover that!

When I started my blog, I was wondering how other people can see me. Am I complaining too much? Am I reflecting on the things I have no idea about? Do I seem dysfunctional? Am I in self-denial? Do I even know what I am doing?

That was bothering me a lot. But now – who cares! I love writing about what’s happening to me, what I learn about, what affects my everyday life, what brings me joy, and what makes me miserable. I love sharing because sharing will eventually affect that one individual on the other side of the world whose name I don’t even know.

Besides, sharing the truth about your “mediocre” life gives a clear message: “I am not an expert. I write stuff to share, and in this, I can help anyone who ponders the same existential questions I do as well. I have nothing to hide. You see me the way I am. I am very simple. Just me, just human.”

This honesty and transparency I feel like is the best way to bring the message to people: “Listen up! I do this when I am inspired, and it changed my life. Do you want to try to do the same? Read this blog.”

This is as simple as that. If you open yourself to others like a book, people will find the page they will be taken by.

3. Dive into what gives you wings and indeed makes you alive.

Who we are in our occupations does not always mirror who we want to be or aspire to be. We might have very different interest from what we do on a day-to-day basis in our offices, classroom, at our desks.

The disparity between who we are and what we are in our job is sometimes small, but sometimes this disparity is so significant that we feel displaced, lost, not belonging to where we are at the current moment. No matter what’s happening to your right now, you need to recognize or find something that brings you pure joy, makes you alive, gives you wings.

It’s something that you do at 6 in the morning on Saturday and Sunday not because you have to or ought to, but because you love doing it, because it’s oxygen for your imagination, it changes you, it makes you feel free.  When your genuine interest moves you, you are becoming an expert in this area with the time.

You will be in the position to offer your advice, educate, mentor and support anyone who is on a journey in the same or similar direction. And this is the time when you start realizing that your silly passion four years ago sprang into a mentoring course, or an online class, or a workshop that other people can benefit from.

So your obsession with crocheting, or drawing anchor charts, or day-trading, investing, tutoring ABC is not the mediocre activity anymore. It’s something you can do better than hundreds or thousands of people out there. And this helps to break the trap of the impostor syndrome.

Because when you discover your A+ gift, it will elevate you, set you free, let you empower and help others who feel lost or small.

4. Take it easy. The mistakes you will make will most like be unnoticed by others. People are too busy to care about someone’s mistakes.

The final piece of advice is from one of my favorite books Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert.  She writes, “Go be whomever you want to be, then. Do whatever you want to do.

Pursue whatever fascinates you and brings you to life. Create whatever you want to create – and let it be stupendously imperfect because it’s exceedingly likely that nobody will ever notice. And that’s awesome.” This is very liberating to me.

The idea that there are limitless opportunities in the world to express who you are, create, pursue your interests makes imposter syndrome so irrelevant. Think about that: the universe gave everybody an equal chance for expression.

Eventually, you will discover your gift, something you are crazy good at, and that’s how your fear of what people may think, whatever mistakes you can make, whatever outcomes you might arrive to – this fear is healthy, but not unbeatable. So experiment, search for your gift, be who you are and enjoy the process!

Talk to you later!